Friday, March 29, 2013

some FEATS

Each feat must be learnt from a person who already knows it.  The cost of training depends on the trainer but is generally 100-200 for a simple feat,
and as much as 20 years of service for an awe-inspiring one.  Sometimes feats can also be learnt from ancient texts or strange magic visions, etc
Only PERSONS of ACTION (not PERSONS of LEARNING or PERSONS of the GODS) can learn these feats.
You can know any amount of feats, as long as you meet the requirements.  

the Salmon Leap - Req: Fight 13 a leap of incredible distance and/or height

the Weapon Feat - Req: Fight 12 perform incredible weapon dances / tricks / juggles.  amuse onlookers,

the Great Toss - Req: Fight 12 hurl a very heavy object, or a smaller object very far

the Iron Hands & Feet - Req: 14 End plunge hands into boiling water without harm, dance on coals, etc

the Incredible Juggling - juggle whatever

the Hero's Chant - Req: Pow 13.  inspire allies, banish all fear of death, dismay weak foes

the Battle-Howl - terrible scream frightens enemies, effectiveness based on Fight of character

the Perfect Shot - Req: Agl 18+, Fight 18+, this is the goal of all Northmen.  the Perfect Shot is the one shot which always succeeds and always pierces, no matter the distance.

the Feat of Thunder & Lightning - Req: Fight 15+, Pow 15+.  clashing of arms cracks the sky and terrifies everyone, causes flying creatures to fall and blinds the weak

the Squirming Feat - Fit through anything the size of your head!

the Trick of Walking on Eggs - Req: Thievery 13

the Feat that Dazzles, like the Sun - Req: Pow 17.  Shock enemies by revealing your total majesty.  inspire awe in your followers such that they bow at your feet

Endure Labor - you can just work endlessly.  when the sun beats down and when the whips are cracking you can just fucking take it.  no problem.

Sober Up / Sober up Another - the seemingly magical trick of appearing sober when confronted with danger or authority figures.  Can also be applied to others: symptoms of substance abuse are reduced by -1 every turn spent slapping and pouring water on the target

Always Awake - also known as "Soldier's Eye" or "One-Eye Trick".  Use normal rules for surprise at all times, even while sleeping or otherwise engaged

Splendid Amongst the Glorious - Req: Pow 18+.  Men gladly follow you into the maw of death.

The Wolves' Lope - Req: End 14, must be lightly encumbered.  Loping run conserves energy while doubling normal overland travel speed

Torch Trick - hold a torch and a shield at the same time, keep torches from going out during battle

Fire Trick - start a fire anywhere!

Graceful Slayer - when fighting, swap Agility and Fight any time you want

Corpse-Reaver - Fight 14+.  Enemies are terrified by your horrifying bloodlust / martial accomplishment.  they must test for morale every time you kill someone

The Stomping Trick - Favorite trick of Blood Bull God!  wild stomps and leaps encourage friends, amuse onlookers, harm foes based on Fight of character.  a true devotee can stomp through shield-walls and crack the earth with his mighty stomps

these feats can be combined - for example, a warrior with the Iron Hands and the Salmon Leap could run across the tips of spears

this list does not include most of the Archery feats except for the Perfect Shot (the most well-known one)

Wednesday, March 27, 2013


Monster-Folk is an all-inclusive term for sapient human-like creatures who have one or several extremely abnormal attributes [relative to the human standard]
This classification includes humanoids who are part animal (centaurs, minotaurs, wolf-heads, dog-people), humanoids who display characteristics of multiple monsters
or animals (myreauthogue, mauristatia, mongrelmen), humanoids that look like humans but with abnormal features (snitch-men, filchers, ogres) or creatures which are sapient
but clearly unrelated to humans in any other regard (zutt, mercanes).  Many of these folk have always existed, but since the Great Cataclysm their numbers and varieties
have exploded.  Many are hostile to humans, but it should be remembered that the majority are not "evil".  Nonetheless, many humans have a policy of "kill on sight".  In most human societies, they are received as second-class citizens or worse.

Monster is an all-inclusive term for unintelligent creatures who display composites of animals attributes (frog-dogs, cave-lice, serpi), have magical abilities (cave-anglers, gem-spiders), or otherwise
show drastic deviation from pre-Cataclysmic animal norms (chop-hawks, lowders, kraw, Pelgrane).  They are generally hungry, predatory and unafraid of humans.
Monsters have always existed, but never in such great numbers or so many differing forms as they do now.

Animals are unintelligent creatures who existed before the Great Cataclysm and continue to do so in a largely unchanged state.  Some animals such as Kossic Hounds
and Carnivorous Goats could debatably be classified as monsters, but since they are largely domesticated, people consider them animals.
The primary difference between a "Monster" and an "Animal" is that an animal responds according to basic needs and stimuli - hunger, fear, discomfort, desire to mate, etc
Monsters, on the other hand, behave according to laws which are largely foreign to humans and "normal" animals.  they may assume a hostile attitude without any logical provocation, behave in a manner which seems irrational, or seemingly defy presumed laws of physics and physiology.  they are often belligerent

Beasts act like animals but are unusually large or otherwise dangerous to humans

BLEED-THROUGHs (also known as Ghosts, Demons, Dimensional Flotsam, Undead) are inhabitants or elements of the Other World (sometimes called Under-world, Otherworld, Spirit World, Afterlife, or Anti-Space) which
manifest themselves in the material world.  These manifestations take innumerable forms.  All are inimical to life and to the substance of existence in general.  They are generally uncontrollable and

Tuesday, March 26, 2013


INCANTATIONS require no special stats and can be cast while wearing armor.  anybody can learn them and there's no limit on how many you can know.
They take a variable amount of time to cast but usually are too slow to use in combat.
The only restriction is, you have to find somebody to teach you them.  Usually, it costs about 100 Moons to learn an incantation.  rarer/more powerful ones cost more (as much as 10,000 Moons)

THE ESSENTIALS - you will find it extremely difficult / impossible to survive without these

INCANTATION for a SAFE REST - very common, requires only a shelter.  must be cast before nightfall
INCANTATION for SAFE TRAVEL - very common.  prevents assault by monsters when on a road.  ensure the spell's protection by offering at roadside shrines
(you'll see them - stone plinths covered in coins of all age and description).  stealing from roadside shrines will forever banish this protection


INCANTATION to SAFEGUARD THE HEARTH - protects a newly-built house.  expensive but common
INCANTATION of PEACEFUL REPOSE - passing-rare.  protects corpses
INCANTATION of TRADE - known only to servants of the Laughing God.  ensures a trade area is safe and allows comprehension of languages within that area.  Duration depends on favor with the Laughing God
INCANTATION to START A FIRE - passing-common.  starts small fires, torches, campfires, etc
INCANTATION of QUICK COUNTING - very useful when you find a hoard of treasure
INCANTATION of ACCURATE MAPPING - almost essential for subterranean explorers
INCANTATION to MAKE A FIGHTING STICK - a magic fighting stick might not be the ideal weapon but sometimes you don't have options
INCANTATION to MAKE FOOD - expensive but worth it


these songs must be learnt individually.  when a song is performed, it will produce one or more effects on the audience.  effects are listed below.  a talented musician will produce strong effects; a poor musician may produce opposite effects

the uplifting tune (common, simple) - generally hummed or whistled loudly by multiple people.  bolsters morale.  calms stress.  makes work pass easily.  defuses angry situations.  makes people willing to work together.  makes people willing to die for greater cause.

the remembering tune (uncommon, moderate difficulty)- sung quietly, sometimes accompanied by percussion.  brings back memories of the past.  these memories may be wistful or bitter.

Remember Krynn! (uncommon, difficult) - generally chanted loudly, often to musical accompaniment.  fosters gung-ho attitude.  reduces fear.  inspires acts of heroism.  popular with kings during feasts etc

lullaby (common, simple) - induces tranquil, healing sleep

Where is That Page? (rare, simple) - helps find lost pages in a book or manuscripts in a library.  brings unbidden memories to mind and aids in lateral thinking.  Helps find a lost object or search a location when hummed quietly.  allows musician to automatically remember details learnt earlier in the campaign but which they may have forgotten

sing away the fear (uncommon, moderate difficulty) - the more people singing, the less any of them feel fear

harmony song (uncommon, difficult) - multi-part harmony grows stronger with all who sing it; coordinates efforts and aids in mental intuition between people

the 77 Work Songs of the Red Boatmen (uncommon, moderate difficulty) - sung and chanted loudly.  makes work productive.  helps endure tedium

the Mindless Marching Tune of the Legions (uncommon, simple) - makes the miles pass without effort

the Song for Fathers (common, moderate difficulty)- simple percussive rhythm.  each person has their own song about their father.  if you had a weak father or a poor relationship, this song will make you feel worse.  if you had a strong father and a good relationship, it will inspire you to follow in his footsteps.  people who knew one another's fathers can aid in constructing a single melodic harmony.  very effective in strong communities

the Step of the Sun (common, difficult) - very fast and difficult to sing; requires musical accompaniment for best effect.  induces frenzied excitement, lust, and great zest for life.  popular among common folk

the Challenge Song (uncommon, moderate difficult) - requires vigorous stomping or percussive backing.  insults an enemy.  creates anger in them.  excites a crowd.  bolsters oneself or a friend who is duelling.  if you sing this song and lose the challenge, you will look doubly foolish.

the Sad Song; the One which is only a Reflection (rare, requires incomparable skill) - generally performed solo, before an attentive audience.  this song inculcates incomparable melancholy in a willing listener.  it hearkens them to all bereavements and those things which are irreconcilable with daily life.  perhaps the greatest song of the hideous age of Ruined Kos.  anybody with the slightest melancholy of soul will be profoundly moved

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


I want some Mercenaries!
1. Youths
2. Footlings
3. Weapon-Bearers
4. Minion (useful)
5. Minion (useless)
6. Mercenary

Youths have average stats in every regard and carry only a sack and a cudgel or club.  some might also have slings.  They have little
practical advice, no experience, but are eager to prove themselves and usually follow orders.

Footlings are desperate farmers, outlaws, bored hunters, etc.  They usually possess traveling garb and some form of common weapon -
a pitchfork, a self-bow, a heavy club, dagger, etc.  They are otherwise no better than Youths, and have less morale

Weapon-Bearers are militia-men, former soldiers, warriors-in-training, etc.  They gain +1 attack and +1 init.  They are equipped
with one or two war-weapons such as a spear and shield, a sword, a war-bow, etc.  They may have battle-harness or thick garb.
They have some experience of combat, and may have useful tactical advice.  Footlings and Youths
will listen to them.

Minions are somewhere between commoners and mercenaries.
Surprisingly Helpful Hirelings
1. Darx the fletcher: constantly making new & improved arrows out of found materials
2. Munn the torchbearer/unemployed cartographer
3. Man-at-arms Zim: trained under famous chef (killed by Zim in an unfortunate incident), capable of making rations into a memorable dining experience
4. Wahu the wary: detects traps/secret doors with latent psychic powers
5. Keen-eyed Kruun: more likely than average to spot objects of value
6. Brill the bat-whisperer
7. Switt the suddenly self-sacrificing: will fling self between master and incoming dangers
8. Moogumbo the spear carrier: generous with hand-crafted juju bags of protection
9. Frix the fleet-footed: an exceptionally fast sprinter
10. Corgo the cognizant: able to remember important detail forgotten by adventurers
11. Cosmopolitan Cruin: knows one language unknown to adventurers
12. Man-at-arms Flang: never leaves home w/out at least three doses of his mother's mystical tonic of healing

Useless Hirelings
1. Panic Attack Jack: tunic, sword, 2 in 6 chance of freak out in combat
2. Huroo the mentally deficient yet totally bold and confident torchbearer: loincloth, torches
3. Thuy the Crafty: threadbare toga, boasts of melee skills but requires armament(s), runs off immediately with whatever he is given
4. Typhoid Tujam: hospital gown, dagger, 1 in 6 chance of dying per turn
5. Cleem of the Pukarat people: two-handed sword, breechclout, a barbarian so ferociously savage and given to violence as to be a constant liability
6. Jurusan the Tremulous: leather cuirass, short sword, 3 in 6 chance of dropping his weapon each round in combat
7. Yukant the treasure-hauler: farm hand outfit, pitch fork, mule, provides continuous stream of arguments against everything he's asked to do and every possible course of action
8. Lin Fin the torchbearer/extremely patient doppelganger: wide-brimmed hat, tunic, poisoned dagger
9. Bad Shot Yot: Leather armor, short bow, full quiver, 2 in 6 chance of targeting party member in combat
10. Famished Frajor: sword, shield, leather, eats rations immediately, persistently asks everyone for theirs, wails piteously if denied
11. Brang the despondent barbarian: fur shorts, battle axe, clan wiped out before his eyes as a child, now seeks suicide-by-dungeon at the earliest opportunity
12. Chulanthes the turncoat guide: in cahoots with nearby dungeon personality to deliver party into ambush

Mercenaries are full-fledged brothers of the Mercenary guild, with unique armaments and combat abilities.  Many of them operate in companies or
war-bands, with their own rules and methods.  Each Mercenary has his own prices, agendas, and specialties.  see forthcoming post about Mercenaries

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

a few notes on the GOD KOS


Kos is the god of Stoicism.  He teaches people to work to change the world around them a little at a time.  He is a River God.
In good years, he will flood at the right time and the Red Wheat will grow healthily for the year to come.
In poor years, he will flood too early or too late, or spread too thinly causing drought, or spread too thick and cause destruction.
He is said to have strange Elfin maidens who control the floodgate of the Great River Kos which leads to the Conduit of the Great Glacier.
The King of Kos was once the incarnate representative of Kos on Earth.  Now, the King is dead (or missing).
Nobody knows if Kos is dead or not.  He may or may not have caused the Great Cataclysm.

the symbolic drowning
the true drowning
the serpent's bond
the salmon's pilgrimage
the wolf does not speak
the dog owns nothing
the praise of the nautili
the praise of the great pike
the stoic's burden
the gauntlet is thrown
the blood and the water
the death of the faun


Hermitic Wanderers
Drowned Ones
Battle Chaplains

The Ancient Keepr of the Temple of Ghosts at the City of Par-Kos-Now-Ruined possesses the Ghost Sword.  The Ghost Sword will make a man mighty, if it is his destiny.

There are 4 other ACCOUTREMENTS of KOS.  Legends say whoever collects all 5 will re-unite the Shattered Land of Kos and become the new King.
THE MAGIC THRONE, upon which only the king can sit, and which does other cool stuff too.  Said to be located at the TOWER at PAR-OSS, once the King's favorite vacation spot
THE MAGIC MIRROR, which always reflects what is true.  said to be possessed by the Wolf-Lord of Ar-Arak
THE MAGIC JEWEL, which heals any wound.  Location unknown.  The Royal Dragon might know more, or perhaps Agni, Ring-Giver and Fire-God, who lives in south-eastern Kos, or perhaps the Trader Jon Mith, who always travels and knows many esoteric legends
THE MAGIC MASK, which always foils a traitor.  said to be possessed by one of the Drunken Lords of Loe

Barbarian Gods (western)


WAHU, Who Administers the Sacred Cut
Taught mankind the Peaceful Cut, which allows animals to die without pain and sends them to the good afterlife.
Teaches men to survive and fulfill the circle of life or whatever.  gives men moral guidance in life.  renders the meat of the animal.
guides animals and men into death.  Promises that Heroes shall never die.  Teaches men warfare.  priests are spiritual leaders / social psychiatrists and preside over many important functions of hunter-gatherer society
Epithets: Gentle One, Found-Child, Peaceful Slayer, Butcher-God

BONE-SMITH GOD, the Sculptor of Corpses
Processes the dead animal to make tools.  Melts hooves & bones for glue.  Uses feathers for fletching.  Uses bones as needles or arrowheads.
Tans and sews hides.  Makes bowstrings from guts.  Makes thread from hair.  Renders dead trees into timber and charcoal.  Renders the Earth's bones
into knives and other tools.  mastered fire and invented art, weapons and traps.
Works with Wahu to ensure nothing goes to waste.  Guides dead animals to the afterlife.  priests are craftsmen; better craftmanship = more favor, but they are viewed as creepy corpse-handlers by some.  Sometimes said to be an aspect of the
Iron Lord
Epithets: Great Renderer, Skinner-God, Old Bones, Rattler

DOG-FRIEND, Who Guards the Herd
Simple god who is friend to gentle animals.  Protects the herd and also disciplines them.  He & Wahu are allies.
Guards the spirits of animals on their way to and from the afterlife.  Chases Sun-Elk across the sky and eats her at night.
Then he regrets it and howls at the moon til she is re-incarnated the next morning.
Priests are intelligent dogs or dog-trainers or people who love dogs.  this cult is mostly popular amongst the Dog Folk Tribe and is considered subsidiary by all other Animal Nomad Folk
Epithets: Brother-Dog

Friends: None. Primordial goddess.  Lives in the dark places of the Earth and between the stars.  Ally of creatures which prefer
darkness.  Teaches witchcraft, shape-changing, how to stay hidden and contact spirits.  Some say all will return to her one day

The first man, and also the first to die.  Sun-Elk licked him from the ice. Mated with Mother Darkness and so produced the human race.
Resides in the afterworld and judges men according to their deeds.  Jealous of the living.
Epithets: Flesh-Man

the first animal, a cow with nourishing teats who also carries the sun in her antlers.  she licked Grandfather Mortality from the Primordial Ice.
Nourishes the world with her milk.

Primordial being of the earth, mountains, and ice.  he is currently deep in slumber, and has been for eons.
it is said that in ancient times, he mated with the Sky-Serpent to produce the World.
Said to resemble a furry mountain with immeasurably large tusks and gaping caverns for eyes
worshipped by mountain animals and the Wild Polar Tribesmen.  prophecies say that one day he will come out of the North
to crush all before him and freeze the seas, ushering in a new ice age.  his worshipers despise technology, and most humans.
Sometimes considered foremost among the SULLEN GODS of the NORTHMEN

BULL-GOD is also worshiped in the WESTERN BARBARIAN LANDS of PARAX

STAG-LORD, God of the Forest
Stag-Lord lives in the Wildwood.  He teaches human worshipers mastery of the bow, and encourages them to hunt other men.
He hates humans who deface the forest and wishes to see them brutally slaughtered.
his antlers are wide and his arrows drip with human blood.
Wild forest animals obey his call.
there are some Pygmy-Tribesmen who worship this red-tooth'd god, and a few others here and there in the isolated forests of BARBARIAN PARAX, in the WEST

Alright, listen / WESTERN WILDWOOD

i'm just going to start posting my notes. i don't have time*, ever, to update a blog with actual posts / essays / etc, although i admire very much those who do.  so instead, i'm just going to start posting my notes, in unadulterated and unedited format.  many of them will not be original, good, or even faintly coherent, but i dunno.  maybe there will be some ideas here and there for people to swipe.  here's an example


Ferocious caws are audible from up to a half-mile distant.  Here, a murder of 15 Gorecrows are attempting to fight off an invasion of 5 Chop-Hawks.
The Gorecrows have been living in the branches and in a hollow halfway up a large tree hanging out over the cliff for many generations now, but the Chop-Hawks
want it because of the superior vantage point it offers over the nearby Wildwood.  Both groups are willing to fight to the death, although if the Gorecrows
become badly wounded they can be seen flying into the large hollow in the tree order to hide (where they will make a last stand).  Gorecrows are well-knowwn
to collect trinkets, and they have a few objects in the hollow of the tree (which is somewhat dangerous to reach).  Inside, amidst a huge amount of nesting,
eggshells, some lizard and mammal corpses, and other bird stuff, can be found
a) a human skull with some shreds of flesh & hair still attached.  belongs to a former member of a gang in Amble Edge and is inhabited by his ghost.  if touched, capable of communicating very faintly that it desires to be returned there, where it will haunt the gang forever (because they drove the skull's original owner off, hence his ignominious death at the hands of birds)
b) a simple gold ring consisting of two paralell bands.
c) a necklace of 2 large gold coins strung together, each about half the diameter of your palm.  One coin bears an emblem of a shield, and the other a spread-winged eagle.  belonged to a member of a defunct knightly order
d) a small, cheap, gold earring, with a setting where a gem was once attached.
e) some junk - part of a belt with buckle, a tangle of copper shavings, and a dented and battered tin cup.

1. Carnivorous Goats (infinite number)
2. Fanged Impalas (3 herds of 3d12)
3. Gem-Spiders
4. Gore-Crows
5. Chop-Hawks
6. Lizards
7. Lowder
8. Kraw
9. Giant Slugs
10. Fire-Flies (night only)
11. Yard-Long Crawler
12. Bale Snail
13. Screaming Crickets
14. Snakes (Boa, vipers, Stake)
15. 1 Tyrannosaur lives in eastern Wildwood (there was a mated pair, but one was slain by a man with a sword.  The remaining dinosaur is a female who is afraid to leave her eggs)
16. 1 flock of Blaggers sometimes floats overhead
17. 1 Bagu lives in south-eastern wildwood
18. 2 Leopards roam the forest.  Their lair is a willow tree
19. 1 Giant Bear roams the forest
20. 2 Corbins (not affiliated with each other- night only)

1. Ulnot the Leaf Collector - strange little blue man on the run from intergalactic mercantile authorities.  sells potions at illegal prices.  rare things  = better potions.  Mercane will pay a hefty reward for his whereabouts
2. The Blue Knight - challenges everybody to duels for some reason.  very insistent.  very skilled fighter.  wears blue platemail, rides a giant blue horse, and has a blue sword + lance + shield + tent + flag.  when armor is removed he is revealed to be a giant half-blue half-normal human with stupifyingly bad hygiene.
3. The lonely carnivorous goat herder - nice old guy.  can talk to goats.  sells goats / goat-related products.  desirous of news from the outside world.
4. Gunder the evil animal trainer - travels with 1d8 random mammals (1. Bear 2. Leopard 3. Wolf 4.Double-Wolf 5.juvenile giant leopard).  trains his animals to kill people and bring back the treasure.  feared throughout the forest
5 - 6. Hunter (1d4:
   1. Amble Edge Hunter - amiable, folksy, violent
    2. Amble Edge Gang Member - conducting nefarious business
    3. Northman Hunter Group - 1d3 northmen, friendly but taciturn, willing to trade walrus tusks, sea-lion       pelts, or even their famed Giant Longbows for metal goods
    4. Tark the Croc-Man: very friendly for a crocodile-man; exiled from Crocodile-Man society for religious crocodile reasons)
7.-8/ A small tribe of Ape-Men.   act like the apes from the beginning of 2001: a Space Odyssey.  Led by a shaman who can summon ape-ghosts in the form of flying screaming ape skulls that harass enemies

1. Fallen pukel pole.  Connects to two defunct Pukel generators and 1 inert Pukel Man (stats as stone golem).  Can only be operated/understood by devout Kos worshippers
2. Mortally wounded tyrannosaur atop man with silver sword - sword is Space Alien
3. Corpse has some *minor random treasure but a viper beneath - Ref save or get bit then Fortitude or take 1d6 damage per round for 1d6 rounds
4. Treasure-Moth - glowing moth always leads to nearest major treasure.  attacking it is a dire sin (-1d100 respect from ancestors, superstitious people)
5. Yellow area... (see DUNGEON ALPHABET)
6. The birds here have a defense mechanism in the form of song that makes beings become confused and fall asleep, and there are carnivorous vines and lichens nearby to reap the spoils.  Fieldcraft save of best Fortitude character or everyone falls asleep for 1d20 hours and finds they have lost most of their treasure to sticky trees.  if you roll a 1 you are being swallowed by a carnivorous tree when you wake up. no treasure
7. There are a number of sticky slime-covered vines here, and a small but opportunistic hyena pack lurks nearby.  the vines stay sticky even if cut, and can be used for various purposes including making a powerful glue; they are highly flammable (but resistant to acid).  Fieldcraft save of most Skilled character or get stuck + attacked by hyenas if you make any noise trying to get free (Violence check or something better)
8. Touching a shriek-vine will cause it to emit a high-pitched ultrasonic whine, which predators have learned means
there is food nearby.  Fieldcraft save of most Skilled character or +85% chance of encounter
9. Candlebloom is a small, wierd little plant that emits light at night to attract insects.  Useful as a dim candle.  Goes
out 2d2-1 hours after being plucked, growing gradually dimmer in the meanwhile

*by "time", i mean motivation

YET MORE drink recipes?!

In troth!  Lo:


1 part bourbon
2 parts Sprite zero
1 red Lifesaver*

*in the event that you do not have a red Lifesaver, check your inventory for a cherry Jolly Rancher, or a raspberry cough drop.  or, i guess, a mereschino cherry

Friday, March 8, 2013



BEER - euphemism depends on the method of delivery.  most are readily known; "tall boy", "cold one", etc
Budweiser - Red Can
Coors - no euphemism, but you pronounce it "kurrs"
Miller High Life - Mother's Milk
PBR - Hippy Piss, Blue Can

WINE - fartwater, French Piss, Grape Juice Plus
CHAMPAGNE - fizzy fartwater, Grape Juice Plus Plus

LIQUOR - booze (functions as both noun + verb; "let's booze"), hooch (hooch is also a verb, but it means to huddle up)
Whiskey - the Curse, the Creature (a shot is called a "drop", a bottle is called a "tipple")
Rum - Grog
Gin - Christmas Juice
Tequila - Hero Sauce
Vodka - "Bloody Mary, No Fruit"

some other handy euphemisms:

Demeaning Terms for Men, in order of most demeaning to least demeaning:
a nickname can be a sign of respect or contempt, depending on the nickname.  usually nicknames involve a play on or mispronunciation of the dude's last name.  For example, a guy named "Shepherd" could be called "Sherbert" (insulting), or "Sheep-Dog" (respectful).  A guy named "Ottman" could be called "Autumn"  (insulting) or "The Ott-Man" (respectful).

Demeaning Terms for Women, in order of most demeaning to least demeaning
Filthy (noun) also: Filthy Filly, Suzy Rottencrotch
Hoochie Mama
Tough Cookie
girl nicknames work on the same principle as boy nicknames, but for some reason you normally use the girl's first name rather than her last name

MRE: Rat (as in "Aw, Rats!" and also because it is sorta the same size / color as a large rat), Brick (as in "I got some bricks, who wants to shit one?").  some people also call them "Mister E", as a play on the acronym MRE and also to indicate that the contents are a mystery.
Dip: snuff, chew, dip, lid, can
Snuff (the kind you snort): Brown-Brown
MRE Coffee: Type (apparently back in the day it was labeled Type 1 or Type 2 depending on the flavor.  it isn't any more, but some of the bug juice powder is.  generally these are collected by the crew, and then when 20 or 30 have been acquired, they are mixed together in a bottle and passed around to the crew.  one swallow is sometimes enough to make people shit themselves)
Move: bump
Shit: Brown
Urinate: Water Down
Drink: Water Up
Firefighting apparel: Green & Yellow
Helmet: Bullard (they are made by the Bullard Company)
Rain Jacket: flap
Sleeping Bag: fart sack
Glasses: Eye-Pro
Port-a-Potty: Blue Room
Gatorade/Powerade: Weakness-in-a-bottle
Helicopter/Plane: Ship
Car/Truck/etc: Rig