Wednesday, December 26, 2012

new Twine game: TIME QUEST

on christmas eve, i couldn't sleep.  instead, i made a short story / game with Twine called "TIME QUEST" based on D&D.  check it out

Sunday, December 23, 2012

HOW to USE the SAME PLOT OVER & OVER AGAIN (without anybody noticing)

think you don't have the time to run an adventure with all that intrigue and roleplaying and shit?  think again!


here's the story so far: the PCs come to
a) a village
b) a castle
c) a city
d) a manor
e) anywhere else

in order to
a) make
b) secure
c) save
d) whatever

a) ghost hound
b) magic sword
c) free booze
d) evil general
e) something

descriptive text: {it's autumn and the mome-raths have come to town to purvey nautili shells in return for corn blah blah blah purple prose}

there are 1d6 (or more) of the following people in power:

1) a benevolent old weirdo - he is in the highest regional political office or has secret mystery powers, and wants the best for everybody OR the best for the PCs OR both, but is weak or anti-social or myopic or otherwise mostly unhelpful

2) a brash young asshole - often the chosen prince or a powerful warrior.  tends to react quickly and may not have full control of his emotions; may or may not be good at heart.  often a military man.  often ascribes to a certain code of principles (honor, sectarianism, nationalism).  makes a good trusted lieutenant or enforcer or warmaster. can often be convinced to side with the PCs if they prove they have "the Right Stuff".

3) a scheming asshole pulling the strings - he wants to be in control of the city/money/inheritance whatever.  he will block the PCs at every turn and will always be an enemy.  often has magical powers or uses underhanded methods to manipulate people.  sociopathic

4) the Bureaucrat - he just wants everything to return to normal. he is morally independent and may choose whichever side looks most likely to benefit the status quo

5) the sex trap - can just as easily be a man as a woman.  sexy but dangerous.  may be a hedonist or may have hidden agenda.  always works towards self's best interest

6) the innocent - appeals to sentimental emotions.  young prince/princess/sword-maiden/kindly cleric, benevolent.  wants the best for everybody, and freedom / equality.  can sometimes be duped

so just roll on this chart, re-roll if you don't like the results (obviously) and insert whatever ideas you had for the adventure into it.  here's some examples that i steal from frequently:

The PCs must KILL the GHOST HOUND while in a VILLAGE, while dealing with an ELDERLY JARL and his SCHEMING SORCERER HENCHMAN, while the hound keeps killing people
Ending: They kill the ghost hound but get no reward or TPK

Ending: They may or may not save the Graf's life and may or may not be imprisoned for it; the bad guy probably is foiled but escapes

Disney's ALADDIN
The PCs must MARRY the PRINCESS in a CITY, while dealing with an ELDERLY SULTAN, a SCHEMING ASSHOLE SORCERER/HYPNOTIST, a PLAYFUL GENIE WHO WANTS TO BE FREE, and a BRUTISH CAPTAIN OF THE GUARDS, while highlighting the disparity inherent to a class system
Ending: Aladdin saves the day, marries the princess and everybody is happy

Ending: Everybody Dies

The PCs must BECOME an ADULT in a GIANT CASTLE, while dealing with a DETACHED FATHER, a HEDONISTIC MOTHER, a DAY-DREAMING SISTER, and a SCHEMING ASSHOLE WHO WANTS TO BE IN CHARGE, while everything is really really weird
Ending: Becoming an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be

Ending: They get drawn into plight of the region and end up saving the day at a huge tower-defense battle

Ending: They grow up and marry the good girl

Ending: One of the PCs dies and Russia is a weird but cool place

The PCs

The PCs must KILL the GRENDEL in a THRONE ROOM etc etc you get the idea

whatever order you roll them in is the order the PCs encounter them in or the order of power (whichever works better to your sensibilities)

here are some potential ideas that i made up just now:

Ending: ???

Ending: ???

The PCs must ERADICATE the CHAOS WORSHIPPERS in a SERIES OF CAVES, while dealing with a DECIDEDLY CALCULATING LOCAL LEADER,  while the aforementioned local leader is considering becoming a vassal of the all-powerful chaos lords unless something changes soon(okay this one takes place underground)

Wednesday, December 19, 2012


- Rather than adding a set amount, swigging some booze after a battle recovers an amount of hitpoints = Endurance modifier.  if your Endurance modifier is negative, then this is obviously not a wise thing to do

- Binding your wounds recovers an amount = to the Fieldcraft modifier of the person binding the wounds.  3d6 minutes per binding

yes i know these are small bonuses but keep in mind, in Kos your hitpoints = your Endurance score (aka Constitution) score, so even a high-"level" character (there are no levels) has probably no more than 18 HP

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Some ideas for Kos

(i dont have very much time)

The Silent Language is something you can learn to talk to your friends without anybody noticing.

the hangovers are getting worse

Thursday, October 18, 2012


I'm back!

First of all, thanks very much to everyone who extended kind words and encouragement regarding the fire season.  OSR people truly are the best people of all.  I'm sure I'll end up "regaling" y'all with tales of adventure and danger.

It's been a long six months and I have a lot to catch up on re: this blog & the OSR/general RPG community.
I will say, however, that purchased a PDF copy of DCC RPG last night and wow, it fucking rocks
ditto Stars Without Number

more to follow

Thanks again!  Hugs & kisses to the OSRnet

Saturday, April 21, 2012


LORD JAKEVREELAND is now Lord & Overseer of this Blog.  His whim is law.  The EMPIRE is his.
Let this be the last of my decrees.


Friday, April 20, 2012

NEWS of the boring, personal nature

Those of you who subscribe to my blog - all 20 of you - may have noticed that i have essentially stopped posting over the past month or so.  The reason for this is because I am leaving on Monday to begin a position in Alaska on one a firefighting crews.  Physical training  have unfortunately taken up the time in my life that would normally be reserved for long, meandering thoughts on Role-Playing Games
As of April 23, this blog may or may not become largely defunct until August or September or later.  Rest assured, I won't forget about the roleplaying world, and will return in a few months overflowing with enthusiasm and whatever
In the mean time, I hope to pass the DUNGEON SMASHING EMPIRE torch to one of my most trusted associates and partners-in-crime.  He is a game designer, with outstanding ideas that are very much in line with the material already present on this website.  Should he choose to do so, you may see articles from him appear here from time to time, whenever he is so inclined.  I would love, someday, to see DUNGEON SMASHING EMPIRE blossom into a true creative partnership, with several "staff" writers contributing work to a shared, cohesive mythos or series of mythoses.

Thank you to all 20 of my readers.  Keep gaming, and keep your games wild


Thursday, March 29, 2012


The heath-strewn and cloudy fields above the River Kos are dotted in places by single ash trees and stubby poplar groves.
In ancient times, fair villas stood beside them, and each tree was worshiped as a nymph, kissed and serenaded by young noblemen, and wine was poured upon the roots.  It recent eras, the villas have long collapsed to dust, and the spirits in the trees have grown neglected and melancholy.
In most cases, the spirits will manifest themselves in no form more severe than sad dreams of longing and the faces of lost loves to anyone who seeks shelter (perhaps from the many short, whipping rainstorms of Kos) beneath their poor boughs.
However, there is a 20% chance the tree still contains a live Wood-Elf or Wood-Wose, who may present him or herself to the party.
In most cases, their interest will be malevolent, or at least capricious, but there is a chance that a party on the run from dangerous monsters may find themselves aided by a sudden flurry of elf-arrows.
What the elf demands in return for their unsought aid is another matter entirely.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Elves, dwarves, fairies and gnomes are all the same thing.

1. Tiny (dragonfly-sized) - roll 1d6 for Violence Power
2. Diminutive (1 or 2 feet tall)
3. Dwarf (Tolkienic proportion)
4. Dwarf (Fairy-Tale proportion; small squat body with huge head)
5. Same size as a human
6. Taller and thinner than a human

Physical Characteristics
All elves have pointed ears.
1. Albino
2. Extraordinarily thin
3. Huge eyes
4. Indistinguishable from human
5. Pale green skin
6. Winged
7. Iron is poison
8. Crave salt
9. Made of wood, with leaves or grass for hair - +2 AC, double damage from fire (and horrifically afraid of it as well)
10. Frog-face
11. Grasshopper legs; can jump great distances and play violin-like music with limbs
12. Extraordinarily long, skinny nose
13. Insect antennae
14. Shocking beauty
15. Metallic eyes
16. Body appears to be one gender, but voice or face is another
17. Human, but for small horns on the forehead
18. Extraordinarily squat and lumpen, with no neck
19. Wears a peaked red cap and curly-toed shoes
20. Goat legs allow use of the Salmon's Leap ability

Special Power
All Elves have Witch Sight.
1. Masterful tinker - able to repair anything, and to create objects of otherwordly and exquisite beauty, along with objects of incredible grotesquery.
2. Swordsmith - able to forge magical fairy-swords
3. Flower Power!  Able to work strange magic with flowers, causing them to grow at extreme rates, give forth intoxicating nectar, or make them do anything else the player or DM can imagine
4. Woodshaper - able to sing to wood so that it becomes as supple as butter, to be carved into fantastic new shapes.  Can sing a bow or sword of incredible power out of a tree, and can sing ammunition from the forest.
5. Able to disappear from sight at will
6. Knows 1d4+1 Wizard spells
7. Able to sing an enchanting song that causes members of the opposite gender to become hypnotized.  Repeated exposure causes them to fall hopelessly in love.
8. Master Weaver - able to weave substances that could not normally be weaved - gold, the down of baby owls, straw, moonbeams, the skin of mice, etc
9. Can speak the language of all animals.  Although most animals are very wary of Elves, birds and insects will obey beck and call
10. Fairy-Musician - plays pan-pipes, harp, fiddle, or some other instrument.  Music varies from melodic and enchanting to frantically dischordant.  Has the ability to force others to dance by making a Contest of Wills; if it is a failure, that target cannot ever be forced to dance.  This ability only works on sentient creatures.

All elves must be referred to as "FAIR ELF" by other species, or else a TERRIBLE CURSE shall be enacted.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

HOUSERULE: Arrows & Ammunition

Everybody loves the feeling of reaching back to their quiver and finding... Oh, shit and piss!  It's empty!

But, conversely, nobody likes to have to remember to tick off an arrow each and every time they fire.

So, here's an optional rule:
When you buy or find a quiver of arrows or bolts, this condition is known as having "Full Quiver".
For the first battle when you have a Full Quiver, you have infinite arrows/bolts.
In all following battles, you may fire at least one arrow or bolt.  However, every time afterwards that you fire an arrow/bolt from your quiver, roll 1d8.  If it comes up "1", you've run out of arrows/bolts.

Javelins and throwing axes work the same way but you roll 1d4 each and every time - there's no such thing as having a Full Quiver.

Slings never run out of ammo, so long as you are in an area where loose rocks can be found.  If you're in an area where loose rocks can't be found, they operate under the same rules as bows and crossbows.

If your enemies are wielding bows or crossbows, and you loot their bodies after the battle, you return to "Full Quiver" status.
If you and your allies shot quite a few arrows and killed some enemies with them, you can also loot the bodies for spent arrows and return to "Full Quiver" status.
You can carry multiple quivers, but each one counts as 1 Item (LotFP-style).

Player's Option
If you (the character) have the time, you can go through your supplies and count up exactly how many arrows/whatever you have remaining, like for example, if you're setting up an ambush or preparing for a siege.  This will be determined randomly based on how much ammunition the DM figures you have used up to that point.

Player's Option
If you (the player) don't enjoy the randomness and would rather count every arrow, you (the player) are certainly welcome to keep track of exactly how much ammo you have, but its totally YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to be both HONEST and ACCURATE under threat of OUTLANDISH DEATH.

Friday, March 16, 2012


Sapient Humanoid
Omnivore (prefer meat)
Found In: Plains, Forests, Caves, Settlements
The MYREAUTHOGUE are large, beastly humanoids resembling a cross between an ape, a wolf, a boar, and a man. They range from squat, short beings the size of a chimp to massive monsters the size of a wagon. They have large, canine ears which can swivel independently, heavy brows, long snouts, and mouths full of fangs. They highly prize arms and armor. 
Myreauthogue worship entropy, in the form of a great maw which devours all "food".  "Food" in the Myreauthog vocabulary is defined as anything and everything.  Varying forms of important food are the saints and demi-deities of the pantheon.  
The religious center of Myreauthog life is the butcher's pit, which is never empty and surrounded by totemic ancestor-masks.  These masks must constantly be fed with dripping meat to ensure continued survival and prosperity of the Myreauthog race.

The Great Lords of the Myreauthogue are indeed terrible folk, rising to massive size through conquest and tyranny, for a Myreathog’s size is highly variable and mostly based upon his thirst for power.  They are fell and terrible lords, who demand much from their minions.

Myreauthogue gain +1d6 Violence Power and +1d6 Endurance, but this only persists as long as they eat five times the normal amount of food that a human would require every day.  They vastly prefer that this food take the form of fresh meat, but their bodies are capable of ingesting any organic material (grass, bones, paper, etc).  If they are unable to consume meat, they instead require about ten pounds of vegetable matter to supply their extremely rapid metabolisms.
Myreauthogue cannot increase their physical attributes through training as humans and most other races do.  Instead, they grow in size and strength as they become more masterful in battle.  Every time a Myreauthog survives a bloody battle, subtract his current Violence Power from 50.  The result is his percentile chance of increasing in size.  If he increases in size, over the next several days he will grow and gain +1 to Endurance and Violence Power.  Every two times he grows, he will require an extra days-worth of rations every day from that point onwards.

10% of Myreauthogue display strains of mutation.  1% display two or more.
(roll 1d6)
1. Winged Myreauthog
Wings allow him these Myreauthogue to glide for short distances - about 50 ft. from a high vantage point.  They may safely descend from any height, as long as they have about 10 ft. of space to unfurl their wings.
2. Charred Myreauthog
Blackened fangs, red fur, and a smoky stench are clues to the ability of these Myreauthogue to belch flames in a 10 ft. gout, dealing 1d10+1 fire damage (or half for a successful Speed roll).  They prefer their meat charred.
3. Gape-Jawed Myreauthog
Cavernous mouth lined with shark-like fangs gives these creatures a powerful bite dealing 1d8+3 damage.  Myreauthogue with this attribute are considered blessed by the Maw, for it allows them to consume food at a truly grotesque rate.
4. Horned Myreauthog
Cannot wear normal helmets, but can head-butt enemies dealing 2d4+1 damage.  This attribute is seen as a mark of virility amongst Myreauthogue.
5. Giant Myreauthog
Some Myreauthogue are subject to giganticism and reach heights of over 12 feet.  Add an additional +3d4 to Violence Power and Endurance, but Giant Myreauthogue require 10 times the daily sustenance of a human, and tend to unfortunate stupidity.  They are viewed as very valuable by other Myreauthogue for their excessive strength.
6. ???

Least Myreauthog
These are the omegas of the Myreauthogue pack; young adults who have not yet survived to any great size or accomplishment.  They are clad in the most rudimentary of pelts and wield rude clubs and spears; any metal they own will be prominently displayed.

Medium Myreauthog

Large Myreauthog

Great Myreauthog

Myreauthog Chief

Myreauthog Lord

Great Myreauthog Lord

Chaplain of the Maw

Great Chaplain of the Maw

Monday, March 12, 2012


Because armor in Kos appears in so many types and combinations, it would be a futile effort to attempt to categorize them all.  Instead, armor is as follows:

Common Garb: +0

Traveler's Garb: +1
Thick Garb: +2

War Harness: +3, movement rate decreases by 1
Heavy Harness: +4, movement rate decreases by 1

Panoply of War: +5, movement rate decreases by 2
Full Panoply: +6, movement rate decreases by 2

Traveler's Garb
Cost*: 30 Lunars
Encumbrance**: 1 Item
Movement***: -0
A thick cloak, a layer of fur, swathes of silk, a pauldron and loincloth with warrior's rings, or light leather clothing - any or all would qualify as traveler's garb, and provide minimal protection with maximum ease of use.

Thick Garb
Cost: 80 Lunars
Encumbrance: 2 Items
Movement: -0
A leather fighting-cape, padded armor, thick leather jack and breeches, swathes of fur - thick clothing with an eye towards protection, like motorcycle leathers in the real world.  This is the most that a wizard can wear without suffering terrible consequences when casting spells****.

War Harness
Cost: 400 Lunars
Encumbrance: 3 Items
Movement: -1
A light breastplate, a thin chain-hauberk, a metal-lined half-cape and warrior's fighting-torques, sturdy baldric and open helmet, etc.  This is common apparel for a warrior, and will mark one as such.

Heavy Harness
Cost: 850 Lunars
Encumbrance: 4 Items
Movement: -1
Breastplate with greaves, pauldron and helmet; doubled chain hauberk; coat-of-plates with tabard; for those who desire safety on the battlefield and have the strength and wealth to bear extra protection.

Panoply of War
Cost: 1100 Lunars
Encumbrance: 5 Items
Movement: -2
Partial plate armor; war-cape, closed helmet and arms thick with fighting-torques.  This is the accoutrements of a knight or warlord; field-ready combat armor designed to provide protection against multiple attackers and missiles.  

Full Panoply
Cost: 4000 Lunars
Encumbrance: 6 Items
Movement: -2
Full plate armor.  Closed helmet with protective plume, coat of plates, thick fighting torques on arms and legs and back-banner.  This is the accoutrements of a master of the shield-wall and a baron of corpses. 

*: All costs are entirely approximate and may vary by 10 - 200% or more
**: "Maximum Items Carried" is equal to Endurance.
***: Movement rates are as follows:
0: Immobile
1: Encumbered
2: Bulky
3: Normal human rate
4: Wolf
5: Horse
For every 2 points above 10 Endurance, you may discount one point of negative movement.
If Wizards are reduced to Bulky movement, they will suffer terrible consequences when casting spells****.

****: you don't want to know what these are.

Saturday, March 10, 2012


Bleedthrough (low-level)
A Morth is an evil spirit inhabiting the body of a dead man.  Generally slow-witted and violent, they have an impulse to murder.
Morth characteristics (for those who are desirous of such things):
1. Rubbery, slimy amphibioid flesh
2. Sloughing, rotten flesh
3. Distended, hanging maw
4. Huge, staring lamp-like eyes
5. Long, multi-jointed, grasping arms (can attack from 10 ft. away)
6. Long talons (1d6 damage unarmed)
7. Produces an eerie gobbling noise 
8. Constantly growls and wheezes low in the throat
9. Grizzled, milky appearance, as of someone who died of frostbite
10. Shambling gait
AC: 12 (unarmored) or 13 (tattered armor)
HP: 11
Damage: Crude weapon or claws: 1d6 or 1d4

Morths can detect living beings at a distance of 20 feet, and will move to engage.  Their movement is generally slightly slower than that of a living man.  They are too unintelligent to make use of cohesive tactics or traps, but they will use whatever weapons are close to hand.  They can be destroyed by hacking to pieces, but any remnants capable of clutching (head, hands) will remain "alive".  Only by removing the ability to clutch (destroying the fingers, shattering the skull to pieces, removing the jaw, etc) can they be permanently destroyed.  
Morths generally dully enact whatever functions they performed in life - for example, a Morth who lived as a brigand will lie in wait for travelers, kill them and hide their wealth.  A Morth who lived as a laborer will continue to mindlessly stack stones atop one another until his fingers wear to dust.  Morths can sometimes be observed communicating with each other through vague moans and babbling, but what (if anything) they are capable of conveying is beyond the knowledge of living men.


(you'll need to click to embiggen)
Map by Lum at Built By Gods Long Forgotten ; whom I hope will forgive me for mutilating it

The area addressed is the NEW GATEHOUSE, which is the lower-right component of the castle.

1. Empty guard-tower.  Arrow-loops look out at THE GREAT BRIDGE, where numerous Morths patrol.  A spiral staircase here leads to THE SALLY-GATE ROUTE.

2. Vault.  Decayed and partially-mummified corpses are strewn about, none with any items of value.  Broken barrels, remnants of fire; one wall is partially collapsed near the ceiling.  A Morth here is trapped beneath a pile of rubble and futilely clawing at the air.  Arrow-loop looks out at THE BATTLE-TOWER; ragged shapes can be seen patrolling back and forth.

3. Heavy oak door requires Str check to open.  Inside is dusty-but-mostly-intact Chapel of Kos.  Pervasive sense of peace.  When oak door is shut, all noise & light from outside is cut out.  No Morths may enter this area.  Gold trappings worth 1,000 Lunars are present, but stealing them will negate the sense of peace, allow Morths to enter and incur -1d100 Favor with Kos.
Secret Door (DC 15, unlocked) in South-East corner disguised as part of a fresco leads to AREA 5.

4. Grand Courtyard.  1d10 Morths are milling about pointlessly at any given time, amidst scattered desiccated corpses being pecked by ravens.
A badly deteriorated corpse is draped across the lip of the well on the East side of the courtyard, with one arm dangling into the shaft and seemingly pointing downwards.  At the bottom, a dull glint can be seen.
This is a golden cross of Io.  It adds +1 to attempts to Turn Undead.

5. New Gatehouse, West Tower.  3 Soldier-Morths with crossbows are stationed here, staring vacantly out at the Great Bridge.  These Morths will be replaced with others from within the castle if destroyed.  A legless Morth wearing rent chain mail and the heraldry of a Red Knight is crawling around and moaning.  He will not be replaced if killed.  Wall-racks hold 62 crossbow bolts in quivers.
Secret Door is visible in West wall; nearby torch sconce must be pulled to open it.  Leads to Area 3.

6. New Gatehouse, East Tower.  The door to this room is shattered.  A blood trail leads away from it to AREA 8, and several Morth-corpses are nearby.  2 Soldier-Morths with crossbows are stationed here, staring out at the Great Bridge.  These Morths will be replaced with others from within the castle if destroyed.  The mangled corpses of two Red Knights are laid about like so much firewood.  Their armor and weapons are in poor condition.  Wall-racks hold 2 crossbows, 20 bolts and 3 long spears.

7. Barracks.  Door hangs on rusted hinges.  No windows or light.  Tumbled, decaying beds, scattered furniture and linens.  Searching takes 3 turns and turns up a chunk of heaterstone and 36 lunars in an overturned chest.

8. Common room.  Door is hanging open.  No windows or light.  Rotten food still sits on tables.  Blood trail continues from AREA 6 and proceeds through the room to the door to AREA 9.  Faint scratching sounds can be heard from the other side of the door.

9. Guarderobe.  Arrow slits look out on a steep defile leading down to the RIVER KOS hundreds of feet below.  A particularly hideous Soldier-Morth (staring eyes, blood-covered face, pallid flesh) wearing the garb of a Red Knight is trapped within, producing the scratching noises as he claws at the door.  His armor is usable; his sword lies forgotten in the small chamber (he attacks with his fingernails and teeth)

10. Storerooms and dormitory.  Rotten horse corpse and a corpse lying in a bed with a sheet draped over it.  

11. The Great Stable.  Dark; empty stalls.  The bones of the King’s steeds have collected to form a terrible entity known as a FARROPE, which will attack if anyone living enters more than 10 feet into the room.  Otherwise empty.

12. The College.  A short balustrade leads to an elegant and expansive columnade, inhabited by The SENESCHAL.  
AC: 18
HP: 19
Attacks: Sword +3, Riding Whip +2 - 10 ft. range
Damage: 1d8+3, 1d6+2
The Seneschal wields his ceremonial badges of office as weapons.  He wears a helm depicting a loyal hound, and can be observed constantly snuffling and sniffing the air.  He is blind and deaf, and able to discern his surrounding only by smell.  He can detect living beings by smell up to a distance of 100 feet, and discern their precise location if they are within 50 feet.  If the PCs are able to disguise themselves as Morths somehow, such as by dressing in their rags or rubbing themselves with rotten flesh, he will not be able to detect them and can easily be avoided or destroyed.  The Seneschal moves with incredible alacrity, and can traverse the entirety of the NEW GATEHOUSE in a single turn.  He will pursue any interlopers as far as the OLD GATEHOUSE if disturbed, but is unable to enter AREA 3.
Destroying the Seneschal will prevent the Morths in the NEW GATEHOUSE (Areas 5 & 6) and on the GREAT BRIDGE ROUTE from being reinforced or replaced.  
A giant tome of the history of Kos, largely intact, rests on a stand behind the Seneschal.  This item is worth 100 Lunars to the right collector.

13. Old Hall.  Dark.  Moth-eaten tapestries, giant oak trestle tables, symbols of Kos (trident, grain sheaf, and crown) on the wall behind central table.  Collapsed wrought-iron chandelier in the center of room.  35% chance of 1d6 Morths bringing a corpse or two to AREA 18.

14. Pantry.  Racks of moldy bread and associated serving utensils.  Corpse dressed in an apron lies face-down on the floor, but will stir to life as a Morth if disturbed (ie, by searching the room). 

15. Buttery.  Casks of old beer, several hundred candles.  In a cobwebbed corner, one small cask of 400-year-old fig brandy resides.  This has become so potent over the years that consuming it will provoke visions. Worth 250 Lunars.

16. Larder.  Only accessible through AREA 18.  Stacked with moldering corpses like cordwood.

17. Access hallway to Areas 13 - 18.   35% chance of 1d6 Morths bringing a corpse or two to AREA 18.

18. Kitchen.  A stench is detectable from outside of rotting flesh and smoke.  
The kitchen is occupied by the CHEF, mindlessly hacking corpses into cuts, then tossing them aside to rot in an enormous, unthinkably gruesome pile of slimily-decaying human flesh.
AC: 10
HP: 59
Attack: Cleaver +3
1d8+3 damage
The Chef is intensely corpulent, sighing with confined corpse-gas and writhing with maggots.  All attacks, checks and saving throws in the Kitchen or Larder are made at -2.
He is assisted by three other, standard Morths clad in aprons and servant's garb who will pursue outside the area (the Chef will not).
The room is intensely hot due to a blazing fire over which a human corpse is slowly revolving, and another firepit above which a huge cauldron of foul stew is boiling at all times.  Anyone forced into either fire will be dealt 2d4 fire damage.  The cauldron could also be tipped over, dealing 1d10 points of scalding damage to anyone underneath it.
Destroying the Chef will negate the chances of encountering Morths in Areas 13 - 18.

19. The Overlook.  This wide expanse rises to the North, with a dais that overlooks both AREA 4 and AREA 12.  A Mage-Morth is found here, guarded by two Soldier-Morths wielding spears.
A door in the west wall leads to a series of scaffoldings which allow access to THE BATTLE-TOWER.  A large double-door (elaborately carved with dolphins and nautili) in the rear of the dais leads to THE CENTRAL TOWER.

20. Guard Tower.  Empty.

21. College Gallery.  Windows here overlook the SENESCHAL in Area 12, allowing him to be easily dispatched with arrows or spells - he will be unable to smell them.

Friday, March 9, 2012

KOS: Player Species & Epithets

Player Races (d100)
1 - 50: Human
51 - 54. Baboon
55 - 57. Badger-Folk
58. Bear
59 - 60. Crocodile-Man
60-65. Dwarf
66-67. Horse-Head
68-69. Hyena-Man
70. Giant Spider
71-72. Jackal-Man
73. Land-Octopus
74-75. Lion-Man
76. Minotaur
77-78. Mongrel
79-80. Myreauthog
81-82. Newt-Folk
83-84. Rodent-Man
85-86. Toad-Man
87. Wendigo
88-89. Wolf-Head
90. Wolflord
91 - 95: Goblin
96 - 100: Fair Elf

Humans are common folk in Kos, so they use epithets or nicknames to identify themselves.

Epithets (d50)

1. The Free Lance
You start with saddle, saddle blanket, saddle bags, bit and rein, and also a ten-foot-long lance of your choice of description.  Last, a light horse trained for combat.  You know how to ride it and use it in battle.  Give it a name.
2. Hawkeye:
You have exceptional eyesight.  You are able to see about 8 miles on a clear day, make out fine details and give accurate descriptions at 200 feet, and read small print at a distance of 20 feet.  You very rarely miss visual details and are also excellent at detecting and tracking motion.  You also have a 50% chance of actually having one or two (determine randomly) avian eyes, which is rather disconcerting to others.  You gain a +1 bonus to using ranged weapons, among many other obvious practical applications
3. Berserkergang: see rules for Arduin berserkers
4. Eye for Animal-Flesh: When buying or selling animals, adjust the price 20% in your favor.  You will always be able to pick the best animal out of a group.  You also know how to keep animals in top condition, and can treat ailments such as scrofula, rickets, etc
5. Pathfinder: you never get lost.  You can also predict what the weather will be.
6. The Baleful: You can give the “evil eye”.  This intimidates enemies or NPCs in a variety of bizarre ways that are basically up to the Player and the DM to determine.
7. Witchsight
You can see one plane more than you would otherwise be able to - ie, a normal person is able to see onto the Second Plane, a wizard could see onto the Third Plane, etc.  It is very difficult to use illusion magic on you.  The Church of Ido will not be favorably inclined to a character with this trait.
8. Strider
You move 1 category faster than normal at all times - so if you would normally move at a “Bulky” rate, instead you move at an “Unencumbered” rate.  If you would normally move at an “Unencumbered” rate, instead you move at “the Wolf's” rate.  If you would normally move at “the Wolf's” rate, instead you move at “the Horse's’” rate.
9. Feckless
 You will never be cursed, and can use cursed items with impunity.  You will still recognize an item as cursed if you wield it, but it will not affect you.
10. Soulless
You have no POW score, and, indeed, no soul.  You are visible on other planes only by the negative space you occupy, like the shadow of the moon.   You have no pupils or irises.  You are immune to spiritual possession, and cannot possess others.  You are also unable to feel genuine emotions, and may have difficulty imitating them.  Animals or people with Witchsight find your presence profoundly unsettling, but Cross-Dimensional Flotsam may not be able to detect you at all.  Choose an ability score - reduce this score temporarily when casting spells (with all associated effects on spell power), as you would otherwise for POW.
11. The Squirrel: You can climb with inhuman alacrity and grace (+5).  You have weird, long toes.
12. Third Eye (fully developed)
You gain the ability of the Evil Eye trait, the Third Eye (unfully developed) trait, and +3 levels of Witchsight.  The Church of Ido will consider you a potential messiah, but if you scorn them, they will instead view you as an anti-messiah deserving of unrelenting enmity.
13. Third Eye (unfully developed)
33%: You have a tattoo of an eye on your forehead, which functions as a real eye.
33%: You have a dark hole in your forehead which leads directly to your brain or perhaps another dimension.  Moving lights are sometimes visible by others within it.
33%: You have an eye embedded in your skull, somewhere beneath your forehead.  Trepanning your head to expose the eye may unleash extra powers.
1%: You have the Third Eye (fully developed) trait.
In all cases, you have the powers of the Eye are as listed below.
The Eye gives you an extra level of Witchsight.  The Eye can also be used to entrance and hypnotize others at a Contest of Wills +10 in your favor, if the other person is looking at your face.
14. Bombheart: Grants no extra modifiers, but if you are killed in battle, your heart will explode and shoot shards of stone in every direction, causing massive damage (13d6) to those around you.
15. Honeytongued: Everybody believes you when you lie.  -2 to resist poisons.
16. Shriven: ??
17. Unbeliever: +1 weapon skill with Short Swords.  -1 damage from miracles and magic.  You are disinclined to worship any god, but this has no in-game effect.
18. Shieldling: +2 weapon skill with spears; -1 damage from arrows and other ranged attacks (not including magic)
19. Stone-Man: You are born of the rock, and every night you dream of mountains.  +2 Toughness, +1 VP.  -2 vs. spells, potions, etc that cause sleep, hypnosis, paralysis, hallucinations.
20. O‘Mauristat: Descendant (or one) of the few survivors of Mauristat.  +1 with all ranged weapons, and the shit that you’ve seen has left you immune to hallucinations, insanity and confusion
21. Mead-King: You can out-drink just about anybody.  Double your Endurance for the purposes of reducing the deleterious effects of alcohol or alcohol-like poisons.  You are also a border-line alcoholic, who finds himself compelled to  follow up any offer of free booze and any drinking challenge.  You also have a beer belly.
22. The Traitor: +1d6 with weapon of your choice.  You can’t sleep at night - you appear constantly tired and haggard.  There is only a 30% chance you actually gain “rest” effects when resting.  You have the feeling something awful is after you.
23. Canny - Add 1d4 to your choice: Thievery or Fieldcraft.  Your appearance is ill-favored.
24. Crow killer (or Hawkslayer) - you can hit a bird out of the sky with ease.   +2 to ranged attacks, and no penalties for hitting small or quickly-moving targets.  Bird-folk despise and fear you, and many will seek you out to peck you to death.
25. Axe-Job: +1 attack & damage with Axes.  You start with a large battle-axe, which you should name (samples: “Wound-Shovel”, “Lop-Limb”, “Brain Biter”, “Bloodsplash”).  You have a bad reputation.
26. Sword-Work: +1 attack & damage with Swords.  You start with a sturdy war-sword, which you should name.  You have a bad reputation.
S27. Horse-Leg: You have 1d2 legs that are strong to a truly, abnormally, visible degree.  You can dish out a kick that deals 1d8+3 damage (even if you have 2 Horse-Legs, you still can only kick once a round).  You can run pretty fast and perform the Salmon Leap even if you don’t meet the normal requirements.  If you can bring your legs to bear (ie, squat in order to lift something, push or drag, etc) you can add half again your Violence.
28. Bronze: +2 attack & damage when using bronze weapons.  You are highly conductive to electricity.
29. The Shepherd: Animals are gentle in your presence.  -1 when attacking people of your own race, or any females.
30. Whorebane: +1 with your choice: Daggers, Short Swords or Long Swords.  You absolutely hate women.  You are also secretly somewhat sadistic and lack any real moral compass.
31. The Malicious: +1 with your choice of nasty weapon.  You can automatically kill a downed enemy with one blow.  You have a penchant for torture.  You will stop at nothing.
32. The Careful Victor: You know how to pick your battles, and it won you glory in a critical juncture in the past. You start with a good reputation.  Start with 3 carefully-selected items of your choice, and +2 POW.
33. Sly Non Nye, Who Loves to Steal Pies
34. Daring Dan Dimplecheeks, Who Lost It All and was Cursed 3 Times - DM determines one curse, player determines another, player & DM flip for last
35. The Peddler:  Your “peddling” was just a cover for your thieving operation.  Double your Thievery skill when opening locks.  In addition, gain +10% value in your favor when selling items.  You can also, incidentally, repair small dents in armor and common household items.  You can also carry an extra 3 items.  You carry 4d2 keys that you don’t know what they fit.  You have a horrible fear of ever damaging your fingers.  -2 POW
36. Darkstar: you can see in the dark, but are very susceptible to bright lights.  strange, glowing dark eyes. +1 POW
37. Iron: You have a special affinity with iron, and gain +1 when using weapons ,made of this metal.  Alloys do not count.  -1 vs. magic saves
38. Boldhelm
39. Murk-Lurker: +1 stealth, +1 damage with Swords, +2 damage FROM missiles or spears, and you are immune to poison gas.
40. O’Longport: Descendant (or one) of the few survivors of Longport.  +1 Short Sword skill, and you can speak the language of monsters.
41. Stumpen:
1. A spiked mace (+1 damage but you lack a hand)
2. A sword (“)
3. An axe   (“)
4. A flail (“)
5. A living snake (1d4+1 damage + venom.  Can grasp shit but you lack a true hand)
6. Crossbow
42. Squire: You were born to be a Red Knight of Kos.  Your family held true to the old traditions, or maybe you‘re more like Don Quixote.  You start play with a helmet and combination of armor equal to Heavy Chain.  You also get a heavy shield, plain or emblazoned with whatever you like, and an antique and priceless war-sword which gives +1 to attack.
43: The Philosopher:  You must seek the Philosophers.  Knowledge and debate are your passions.
44: Fanatic
1 - 3: Religious
5 :     Knowledge
6:      Other
1: Kos
2: Io
3: Blood Bull
4: Iron Lord
5 - 6: Other/Player’s Choice
1. Historical
2. Magical
3. Theology
4. The Great Cataclysm
5. The Endless Lands
6. Other/Player’s Choice
1. Treasure
2. Women
3. Alcohol/narcotics
4 - 6: Player’s Choice
1% chance of being an actual Lunatic
45. The Scavenger: Go through the equipment list and pick an amount of Items (as in, by weight) equal to your Thievery score.  You can’t just have it all be gold.  Also, you’re just good at finding shit.  +1 to rolls during times when you’re just rolling to find something by random chance.
46. The Ox - You grew up hauling ore or hewing logs.  Add 1d6 VP, and double the amount of items you can carry.  You are also quite stupid.
47. The Barber - The type who‘s also a surgeon, dentist, etc.  +1 with knives and other short blades.  You know how give a damn good shave, and how to slit a throat pretty quietly.  +4 to healing attempts and you start with a very sharp razor
48. The Executioner - you have the skills of a man trained to execute criminals.  +1 attack & damage with Two-Handed Swords and Two-Handed Axes.  You know the basic methods of construction and operation of gallows, pyres, etc.  If you strike a Critical Hit, there is a 40% chance that you will simply kill your opponent in one blow.  Regular folk are terrified of you.
49. The Gambler - good at gambling and addicted to it.  you know how to cheat & win.

This is a work in progress so there are some missing numbers

Thursday, March 8, 2012


Sometimes, in the red wheat fields of Kos, where the hills loom and bones slowly moulder, you can find the Wheat Man lurking.
It is well-known that sighting the Wheat-Man is a sign of good fortune.  To represent this, any member of a party sighting the Wheat-Man gains a bonus of +1 to any attack, ability check or saving throw that would otherwise have failed by a single point.  In such cases, the DM should merely state that the character was successful despite being one point shy.
If you attack the Wheat-Man, you will surely never see him again.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Submit your drink and I'll add it to the LIST of DRINK RECIPES if i think it's good

Get all the booze you have (beer, liquers, hard stuff, everything) together and put it in a dark cupboard, or, preferably, have a friend do it for you. Blindfold yourself and reach inside. You must pull out 3 different things. Then, unblindfold yourself and behold - you must mix those three things in equal measure and fill your goblet. Drink greedily ; drink deep

THE ABORTION (the official house drink of my house in college)
if you use that green hot sauce it's called an ALIEN ABORTION

Submitted by Kyle McJuicy:
Hot Poops
Fireball whiskey chased with bushe tall boys or pabst blue ribbon

Submitted by Rabid Dinosaur:
A few weeks ago I concocted The Caramel Ass:
1 part Buttershots
3 or 4 parts rum

I remember nothing about that evening except for short windows of vomiting, but they were pretty delicious.

Submitted by Skittlebrau:
Mexican Hot Chocolate

3 Parts chocolate liqueur
1 Part cinnamon rum
Jalapeno slices, canned or fresh.

Monday, March 5, 2012


Common Name: CAVE-ANGLER
Academic Name: LOPHIIFORME
Found In: Caves
Cave-Anglers are a common sight in wet caves throughout Kos.  These amphibians have glowing appendages which exert magical attraction on those who view them, causing the victim to foolishly head towards the light and wait to be bitten.
The normal prey of the Cave-Angler is unfortunate small rodents, lizards and floating shrimp, but it is perfectly willing to try anything. If it accidentally attacks a large animal outside its prey range (ie, a human ), it will let go and attempt to escape.  Too late for the unfortunate human to avoid being bitten, though - the Cave-Angler's teeth are numerous and wickedly hooked, and its mouth more than large enough to accommodate a hand up unto the wrist.

13 AC
1 HP
Attacks: Bite +0, +6 versus hypnotized characters
1d4 damage
Special: Hynposis
Creatures looking directly at the Cave-Angler must save vs POW at +1 or else become hypnotised and spend their following turn attempting to move to the Angler and present the most convenient extremity to be bitten.
Once the Cave-Angler has made a successful bite, it generally scurries away in search of smaller prey.
No. Appearing: 1

I stole this idea from an excellent post on the "Dungeon Dozen" blog, found here
strongly recommended

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

the Gruesome Man of Wander Marsh

Bleedthrough (mid-level)
Found in: Wander Marsh, north of IRIDESCENT GROTTOES

The Gruesome Man is a hungry spirit.  He appears as a gaunt figure with drawn flesh, so dry and tight it has become thick with sores and flakes off in scales.  Fangs line his puckered mouth.

The Gruesome Man is usually found atop his coffin, stirring his ever-simmering stewpot and whimpering for new additions to it.  The coffin and stewpot move around, and are always found in a different marsh-clearing.  He is likely to attack anyone interloping in his territory - bodies make fine additions to the stew.  He can smell blood to a distance of one-hundred feet and will attack those attempting to sneak by him. However, quick-thinking adventurers who attempt to parley may be able to buy him off with the offer of a horse, several weeks' rations, or an unfortunate hireling.

The Gruesome Man is found around the marsh north of the Iridescent Grottoes and south of the Lake of Misery, where legends say he died.  The monster-folk of the Grottoes know him well and avoid him at all costs.  His presence guards one of the entrances to the Grottoes - the stream that pours in from the marshes to the Water Chamber.

SHERIFF DRONLAN THREE-SWORDS of Pilgrim's Passing has offered a bounty of 30 Gold Wheels for the head of the Gruesome Man.

AC: 16
HP: 21
Attack: claws +3 x2
Damage: 1d8+3 damage each
If both claw attacks hit, the Gruesome Man has made a successful grab and will attempt to rip a piece of flesh off for his stew-pot.  Next round, unless forced to retreat, he will attempt an opposed strength check at +6.  If he succeeds, the target loses 3d8+3 HP and one limb or equivalent-sized chunk of flesh.  the Gruesome Man will retreat with his prize to the stew-pot and will not pursue enemies unless attacked.

The Gruesome Man will only die if his coffin is destroyed by burning or hacking to pieces.  It has 12 HP and no AC.  He always knows when his coffin is being attacked, and will return to it to kill those attempting to destroy it.

If the Gruesome Man is reduced to 0 hit points without his coffin having been destroyed, he will fall down "dead" but will reform and come back to life in 1d6 hours.  If his head or any portion of his anatomy has been removed from the main trunk, this portion will also come alive, and the remainder of his body will come searching for it.

Monday, February 27, 2012


1. The Entrance Cavern - Chert, dim light from outside
1d4 Frog-Dogs lurk here, in randomly determined (1d6) side-passages (1.1 - 1.6).  There will always be 1d4 Frog-Dogs present, no matter how many are killed.  They will attack anyone passing through, unless bribed with food. 
Undigestable remnants of meals remain in the side-passages.  Each side-passage is so low it can only be entered by crawling, and pitch-dark.  Treasures are as follows:
1.1 - 4 stone arrowheads, 6 silver Moons
1.2 - Nothing
1.3 - A large, heavy silver cross of the type symbolic of the Church of Io.  This is a holy symbol to those who worship that God.  Crosses such as these are sometimes awarded to those who perform generous deeds for the Church, or as gifts to young people on their way to service in the Church.  Worth 50 Lunars.
1.4 - Broken sword with aluminum hilt.  Worth 10 Lunars.
1.5 - A knobbled Carnivorous Goat drinking horn.  The initials K.L. are neatly stamped into the steel endplate.  1 Gold Sun.
1.6 - 4 pretty quartz pebbles and 4 silver Lunars.

2. The Mushroom Chambers
Limestone, mud floor, dimly lit by Rope Vines.
The floor descends down a muddy slope about 3 yards to this chamber with a 30-foot-high ceiling.
This cavern contains a mystical fungus garden, dimly lit by subterranean glowing vines hanging from the ceiling.
If searched, each turn spent reveals 2d6 potentially useful or dangerous mushrooms or creatures, whose location should be randomly determined.
1. Purple moss.  Passing within 20 feet causes Endurance roll.  Failure means falling asleep for 3d6 hours.  Eating causes permanent coma.
2. Brown moss.  Passing within 20 feet causes Endurance roll at -3.  Failure means sneezing loudly (roll for Wandering Monsters) and uncontrollably for 1d4 turns.  
3. Crumbs of Darkness.  Eating forces Endurance roll - failure indicates 1d6 damage, success indicates gaining 1d4 temporary Spell Points.
4. Great Throne.  About 20 feet high, with purple fuzz on top.  This fuzz is very nutritious.  Each mushroom yields about one pound if climbed, and each pound can substitute a days' rations and is worth 1 Lunar.
5. Cave-Angler.  Save vs POW at +1 or become entranced by the pretty glow.  Once entranced, the angler will attempt to bite you at +3, dealing 1d4 damage if successful, and then scurrying off into the shadows whether it succeeds or not.
6. Rope Vine.  If cut off from the root mass, this vine can easily be utilized as 50 ft. of strong rope.  It also glows faintly in the dark.  Alchemists can render this vine into Blue blade venom; Piku will pay 5 Lunars for it. Poisonous if eaten.
7. Tower Cap.  Giants of the fungus forest; scrape the ceiling at 30 feet.  Can be made into logs if cut. The bottom of the cap bears a ring of edible brown fuzz.  1 mushroom has a days' worth of rations, but it spoils quickly if collected.
8. Plump Helmet.  Tasty and harmless mushroom.
9. 1d6 edible rock snails; harmless
10. swarm of 1d12 flying bio-luminescent shrimp.  Attracted to light; they will swarm thickly around torches and lanterns.  Not a problem when there's only one, but for every additional one there's a 5% chance they'll put the torch out.  Delicious when boiled
11. Pack of 2d12 Giant Cave Fleas scurry across your feet.  Make a reflex save or suffer 1 damage from opportunistic bites.
12. Elf Tears; small, softly glowing mushroom. heal 1d10+1 HP if eaten.

3. The White Hallway
Chert, pitch black.  Climbs 15 feet from 2. Mushroom Chamber
Empty.  Sound of falling water quite audible from Area 4.

4. Water Chamber
Limestone with striations of chert and microcline.  Pitch black.
A huge chamber whose bottom is filled with water.  The entrance from Area 3 projects over a 2-yard-wide ledge, 3 yards above the surface of the water.  Those travelling without light will surely fall in.
The ledge is connected to another via a few Tower Cap logs laid across.  It requires a Skill check at +3 to cross without slipping and falling into the water. 
Two Slithes wait in the water below.  Clearly visible to those with Witchsight, but nearly invisible to anyone else without strong light.  They will quickly attack anyone who falls into the water.
The water is only a few feet deep; tall characters can make a Skill check to simply stand up to avoid drowning.
The other ledge is two yards across and six long, and leads to Area 4a.  
The origin of the splashing sound can be found in the opposite wall; it is a small waterfall which flows in from some distance outside.  Those swimming up this waterfall will travel perhaps a quarter-mile underground before reaching an entrance for the water in the middle of Wander Marsh.

NOTE uh this is a work in progress so check back from time to time i guess and it'll be updated

Saturday, February 25, 2012


1. KOS - the Ur-Project
"Goal": Projection of Tarot readings and Jungian archetypes garbled through a filter of a youth spent on Zelda II: Link's Adventures.  2 ongoing groups (1 internet, 1 irl), massive backload of locations, monsters, characters, scenarios, logs, and ephemera to be posted to this location
Progress: what you see on this blog so far

2. DungeonQuest - RuneQuest / D&D Hack
Goal: To do for RuneQuest what Small But Vicious Dog did for Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay.
Progress: I wrote the intro paragraph.

3. KOS - The Great Palace at Par-Kos, aka Lyongast Castle
Goal: to stock this for use as the great ruined palace for Kos, a la Demon's Souls by way of Undermountain.  Courtesy of the awesome guy at Built By Gods Long Forgotten.
Progress: Staring at the map and thinking

4. MISCELLANEA - non-strictly-rpg-related projects
  • Tough Guy Tributes
  • Black Metal Cookbook
  • Drink recipes
  • Dungeons & Deadlifts: How D&D Models Real-World Athletic Performance (an essay from a firefighter)

Thursday, February 23, 2012


Monster-Folk, Intelligent
Carnivore (Saprovore)
Found: Swamps
ALLIGATOR-MEN (and their cousins, CROCODILE-MEN) are destructive, swamp-dwelling Monster-Folk.  They worship obscure and alien deities.  CROC-MEN and GATOR-MEN are bitter enemies, and will launch frequent punitive raids to destroy one another's eggs and slaughter birthing females.  The only substantive difference between the two sub-species is that GATOR-MEN prefer freshwater, whereas CROC-MEN prefer salt.
AC: 12
HP: 12
Attacks: Bite +2
1d8+3 damage
When in swampy environs, a GATOR-MAN or CROC-MAN may lie perfectly still and simulate the appearance of a log, giving himself +5 to Stealth.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


 JHARSTAN IRON-AXE, IRON-SHIRT is one of two MERCENARIES who are sole keepers and residents of the MERCENARY'S GUILD in PILGRIM'S PASSING.  JHARSTAN is a bear-like man who is perpetually clad in a thick chainmail hauberk.  He also always has a large, double-bitted iron ax leaning against his chair, resting across his lap, or laying next to him in bed.  His fondest pursuits are good fellowship, frothy beer, and exaggerated story-telling. JHARSTAN has spent many a hard night on the campaign trail. He knows that the minutes it takes to don a suit of armor when the last-shift alarm is raised can mean the difference between life and death.  They call him IRON-SHIRT for a reason - he never, ever takes his hauberk off.
JHARSTAN can train Members of the Mercenary's Guild in the use of Heavy Axes and Throwing Axes up to +2 attack, +3 damage.  Each bonus will cost 4 weeks of bruising, arm-aching training and 1000 Lunars.  
JHARSTAN can train Members to sleep in their War-Harness or Heavy Harness without it affecting their night's rest.  This technique costs 2 weeks of hard camping on rough ground and 800 Lunars.
JHARSTAN allows Member's use of the GUILD'S training equipment (giant round stones, sand-filled bags, weighted logs, etc) to increase strength and endurance.  Violence Power and Endurance can be raised in this manner, at a cost of 8 weeks and 2000 Lunars per point (as JHARSTAN and NAHVAROK watch over and provide invaluable advice). PC attributes cannot be raised through this method above JHARSTAN'S attributes, which are 16 in both Violence and Endurance.
JHARSTAN knows the Spell COUNTER-MAGIC, which will counter 1 Spell-Point worth of Spell cast by an enemy per spell point expended by the user.  JHARSTAN only has 2 Spell Points and so can only teach PCs to use up to 2 Spell-Points.  He will teach this spell at a cost of 4 weeks and 1000 Lunars. 

When DRONLAN THREE-SWORDS became SHERIFF 35 years ago, JHARSTAN attempted to challenge him for the title.  DRONLAN did not kill JHARSTAN, but instead crippled his back so that he can now move about only with great effort.  JHARSTAN takes great pains to conceal this weakness.  Of course, all this is mostly water under the bridge now - mostly.

NAHVAROK ONE-HAND is the other Mercenary resident at the MERCENARY'S GUILD.  He is JHARSTAN IRON-AXE, IRON-SHIRT's best friend and compatriot.  Together, they spend much of their time swigging beer and swapping old stories.  NAHVAROK always wears a tattered, battle-worn red cape.  His right sleeve hangs empty over a missing fore-arm.  Unlike JHARSTAN, who is boisterous and sanguine, NAHVAROK tends to be taciturn and short-spoken, mumbling through his own words like he doesn't want to hear them.  Drink tends to loosen his tongue, and he then proves amiable and full of fond tales of manful nobility.
NAHVAROK can train Members of the Mercenary's Guild at Swords up to +3 attack and +1 damage, at a cost of 4 weeks of punishing sword-play and 1000 Lunars per bonus point. 
He can also train Spears up to +1 attack and +1 damage, at the same rate.
NAHVAROK can train Members to coordinate their small-unit tactics.  Once this training is complete, PCs will be able to communicate through battle-signs and secret battle-language, allowing them to plot tactics without the enemy's knowledge.  The cost is 8 weeks of field training and 400 lunars per person.  A new member to the party will have to also go through this training or else learn on their own time in order to benefit from this coordination.
NAHVAROK knows the Spell IGNITE, which sets fire to flammable objects with a touch (even in unfavorable circumstances such as high wind or rain).  This Spell costs 1 Spell Point for those with below 15 MAG, and 0 points for those above 15.   Training takes 3 weeks and costs 500 Lunars.

NAHVAROK was once a Red Knight of Kos.  This is the type of secret that everybody knows.  The cape he wears is his old Knight's cape, retained from some lingering sense of pride.  He lost his weapon arm from the elbow down in combat, and decided to retire to the Mercenary's Guild rather than re-learn how to fight the Endless Crusade with the wrong hand.

JHARSTAN worships the Iron Lord with average fervor, and makes abeyance to Kos, the Blood Bull, and Io.
NAHVAROK worships Kos with average fervor, and makes passing abeyance to the Iron Lord and Io.

The Mercenary's Guild is always on the lookout for new members.  To join, the candidate must be:
- Of sound physique, and possessing a measure of skill at arms
- Willing to swear the Mercenary's Oath
- Willing to pay 60 Lunars initial membership, and 10 Lunars per month thereafter

The Mercenary's Oath is thus:
1. Never steal from another Brother Mercenary
2. Never accept a contract that will force you to fight another Brother Mercenary
3. Never share secrets of the Guild with Non-Brothers
4. Tithe 10% of money taken from any Mercenary Contract to the Brotherhood-Guild
5. Fulfill any Mercenary Contract you accept to the best of your ability
6. Share all gossip you learn with all other Brother-Mercenaries

In return, potential members will be given Provisional Member status, able to vote in matters pertaining to their local region.  After one year, if their conduct is good, they shall be granted Full Brother-Member status, and can vote on decisions at any Mercenary Guild anywhere in Kos.  JHARSTAN and NAHVAROK have heard that there's another Guild in AMBLE EDGE, but don't know if any others still exist anywhere.
All members will be provided free room at any Mercenary Guild, as well as free beer or ale.  All other provender (ie, food) is the member's own responsibility.  Items stored in the Mercenary's Guild are not the responsibility of other Guild-Brothers.
Only Members can receive training from Guild-Brothers.

The initiation ritual consists of initiates stripping to their undergarments and being covered in ritual blue warrior-paint.  A senior Brother will then let some blood from each initiate's arm into a bowl, and then from his own arm and that of any other Brothers present.  This blood will be swirled around in the bowl so that it commingles, then offered symbolically to the statues of the Iron Lord, the Blood Bull, Io and Kos.  Then it will be dumped into a cask of beer, at which point a drinking contest begins amongst all participants.

Each round, every contestant tries to roll under their Endurance score.  Each subsequent round, their effective Endurance is reduced by 1.  Failure means rolling on the following chart.  Only the last man or men standing do not have to roll on the chart.

Drinking Contest Mishaps

1) Make a fool of yourself in public.  35% chance to gain reputation in Pilgrim's Passing as a drunken lout.
2) Involved in random brawl. Roll Violence Power check or start next day d3 hit points short.
3) Minor misunderstanding with local authorities.  50% chance that a minor infraction against the town chart levies a fine of 2d6 x 25 Lunar. 50% chance (or inability to pay fine) indicates d6 days in the LOCK-UP.
4) Romantic entanglement.  1-2 unattached farm girl, 3-4 married farmwife, 5-6 Idiot Girl
5) Gambling losses - 1d100 Lunars
6) Gain local reputation as the life of a party.  JHARSTAN and NAHVAROK are more friendly.
7) Insult local person of rank 1-2 RYNT, 3-4 DRONLAN, 5-6 URIEL
8) You couldn’t really see the rash in the candlelight. Roll Endurance check to avoid venereal disease.
9) New tattoo. 1-3 it’s actually pretty cool 4 it’s lame 5 it could have been badass, but something is goofed up or misspelled 6 it says something insulting, crude or stupid in an unknown language.
10) Beaten and robbed. Lose all your personal effects and reduced to half hit points.
11) Gambling binge. Lose all your gold, gems, jewelry.  10% chance to lose any magic item
12) Hangover from hell. First day of adventuring is at -2 to-hit and saves. Casters must roll MAG check with each spell to avoid mishap.
13) Target of lewd advances turns out to be a witch. Save versus polymorph or you’re literally a swine.
14) One of us! One of us! You’re not sure how it happened, but you’ve been initiated into some sort of secret society or weird cult. Did you really make out with an emu of was that just the drugs? 1-3 Blood Bull, 4-6 Io
15) Invest all your spare cash (50% chance all gems and jewelry, too) in some smooth-tongued merchant’s scheme. 1-4 it’s bogus 5 it’s bogus and Johnny Law thinks you’re in on it 6 actual money making opportunity returns d% profits in 3d4 months.
16) Wake up stark naked in a random local temple. 1-3 the clerics are majorly pissed off 4-6 they smile and thank you for stopping by.
17) Major misunderstanding with local authorities. Imprisoned until fines and bribes totaling d6 x 1,000gp paid. All weapons, armor, and magic items confiscated.
18) Despite your best efforts, you fall head over heels for your latest dalliance. 75% chance your beloved is already married.
19) When in a drunken stupor you asked your god(s) to get you out of some stupid mess. Turns out they heard you! Now as repayment for saving your sorry ass, you’re under the effects of a quest spell.
20) The roof! The roof! The roof is on fire! Accidentally start a conflagration. Roll d6 twice. 1-2 burn down your favorite inn 3-4 some other den of ill repute is reduced to ash 5-6 a big chunk of town goes up in smoke. 1-2 no one knows it was you 3-4 your fellow carousers know you did it 5 someone else knows, perhaps a blackmailer 6 everybody knows.

The above table was created by Jeff Rients, and found at (modified slightly by me)
I highly recommend his blog to any and all